My heart and mind and body seem to be paralyzed…
I can’t seem to quiet my thoughts and emotions and make sense of it all. I keep coming back to this little blog that I wanted to start 9 months ago!! Nine!!! I love to write, writing is therapy to me…so as I was putting one of my littles to sleep tonight I had this strong impression to come and write. This is my solace!
I have all these dreams, all these ideas of what my life should be, I am waiting for this BIG thing to happen….I want a sign! And so I over think everything and wonder if whatever is happening or whatever I am going through is the “sign.” Why am I so consumed with this? What am I missing in life? What do I need?
And right then and there I realized that is not how I want my life to be.
The truth is there may not be this big change! Life is what it is now…and now is great!! Why am I wasting it! Why am I waiting for something better to happen when greatness is right around me.
Being a mom has taught me so much! And although it’s my responsibility to teach my littles, they seem to teach me more! They are my teachers…. They live in the moment, schedules and repetition is comfort to them. Normalcy is what they thrive on. Coming home from school and having a snack and telling me about their day with anticipation and that sparkle in their eyes, the endless fashion shows and dance routines they put on, the endless questions and the simple things...these and countless others are the BIG things.
I fell in love with this quote from another blog:
When you surrender to that fact then real balance comes, of having your soul and mind and heart in sync. ...We can never go back to the fleeting moment that constitutes our children's childhood. We only get one chance to get it right. And doing it right takes a lot of time. How we choose to spend our time is ultimately our greatest power as human beings." (Surrendering to Motherhood by Iris Krasnow).
Right now the only BIG thing I need to worry about are the moments with the people I love more than anything on this earth.